Many people with experience of being bullied at work blame themselves. They feel shame at being targeted. They feel weak and hate themselves for it. They think that in some way they must be responsible for the bully’s use of aggressive, coercive behaviour towards them. Some of them try and help the bully see the error of their ways; others try hard to change the bully’s behaviour towards them.
Assuming responsibility for the bully’s decision to target you means that you burden yourself with a load you cannot be responsible for – the actions of the bully – while you are also struggling to handle the trauma of being targeted. The mental slide into self-blame and trying to change the bully can greatly add to your suffering and confusion.
So, with great compassion, hear this. You are not to blame for the actions of the bully. They and they alone chose to target you, to use aggression towards you in your workplace, and to square this approach with their conscience. These issues sit with them. Your responsibility is to learn to protect yourself at the time of an attack. Click here to keep reading and find out how.