Become Bully-Proof and Regain Control of Your Life
An award-winning bestseller on combating workplace bullying, de-toxifying from a campaign and recovering your self-confidence and self-belief. This book is available from retailers.
Workplace bullying can be a toxic experience. It can lead to plummeting self-esteem, destroy your self-confidence, and impair your ability to perform. But the good news is there is no need for expensive and risky legal action – which you might not even win – or a stressful formal complaint. You don’t have to leave your job either.
Discover how to protect yourself from grooming and bullying. Learn how to defend yourself at the time of an attack. Re-gain your self-confidence and self-esteem following the devastation of bullying.
This practical guide includes real-life examples and proven strategies which will stop bullying in its tracks. It is packed full of tactics, insight and empathy which will benefit you if you have experienced workplace bullying, or if you are concerned that you may be targeted in the future. It includes how to:
- Recognise and defeat bullying behaviour simply and straightforwardly.
- Understand the bullying dynamic, and learn how to alter it in your favour.
- Respond effectively to a range of bullying tactics including slander, gossip, rage, lies and innuendo.
- Defend yourself when your performance is questioned as part of a bullying campaign.
- Respond effectively to a bullying team member who opposes your authority on principle.
- …and much more
Disclaimer Notice: Being bullied carries with it risks that this book cannot (and do not intend to) eliminate without reference to other resources. These include risks of personal injury in any form. The insights, tools and strategies discussed in the book are for general information only. I do not intend that readers rely on one or more of the sections of the book as a standalone solution to the bullying they may face. The book provides no guarantee that any of these methods will provide solutions to the situations readers may find themselves in. Accordingly, the book is not intended to provide personalised advice on handling bullying and use of the insights, tools and strategies discussed in them is entirely at the reader’s risk.
In addition to reading the book, consulting your organisation’s anti-bullying policy and contacting your employer’s HR department, I recommend that those of you who are most impacted by experiences of workplace bullying work with a practitioner experienced in enabling recovery from experiences of bullying at work.
Praise for the Book
Award winning finalist for Best New Non-Fiction at the 2015 USA Best Book Awards and at the 2015 Wishing Shelf Book Awards, and an honourable mention in the same category at the 2015 London and New York Book Awards.
“This is a brilliant, insightful guide and toolbox for managing, escaping and recovering from bullying in the workplace…essential reading.”
Donal MacIntyre Investigative Journalist and Broadcaster; Visiting Professor, School of Applied Criminology, Birmingham City University
“This is a remarkable resources, full of useful advice on a very serious topic.”
Joy Orpen Sunday Independent (Ireland).
“Insightful and packed full of advice and analysis to help stop workplace bullying. A FINALIST and highly recommended.”
The Wishing Shelf Book Awards
“This is a seriously courageous – and much-needed – book. Aryanne …. gracefully empowers the bullied to take responsibility for resolving the situation without in any way ‘blaming the victim’.”
Bennie Naude International Energy Psychology Expert
“Easy-to-read and practical, this book gives effective, realistic help for those who are being bullied… The extensive toolkit provides a myriad of ideas for tackling bullying situations.”
Professor Charlotte Rayner Outgoing President: International Association of Workplace Bullying and Harassment
“This is exactly the book you need if you are feeling intimidated by a bully at work, are involved in HR or L&D, or are managing staff.”
Tracy Wray Deputy HR Director, Sheffield University
“This very readable book is from an author with real insight into this difficult area. The book is full of practical tools to assist the reader to regain their power from the bully in a professional and dignified way.”
Jackie Green former HR Director for Leeds Teaching Hospitals NHS Trust and Royal Liverpool and Broadgreen University Hospitals
“Aryanne’s insightful book is an invaluable aid and toolkit to understanding, addressing and overcoming bullying behaviour.”
Steve Moon former Head of Energy, Global Project Finance, Bank of Ireland
“Aryanne …adroitly and sensitively highlights the nuanced character of bullying, sharing with readers an empowering set of tools through which to address it.”
Dr Premilla D’Cruz Professor of Organisational Behaviour at Indian Institute of Management Ahmedabad
“I wish I’d had this book to hand early in my career… This book will provide a treasure trove of useful information and help for anyone suffering from – or having suffered – bullying.”
John Allison former General Manager of a large publishing company
“Definitely a title to be aware of should you or anyone you know be unfortunate enough to have experienced bullying in the workplace.”
Simon Toseland Safety and Health Practitioner Magazine
More Detailed Praise for the Book
“This is a brilliant, insightful guide and toolbox for managing, escaping and recovering from bullying in the workplace. Because many of us have experienced bullying to some degree, wherever we have worked, this book is essential reading for everyone. It is a hugely valuable resource which sadly is needed now more than ever.”
Professor Donal MacIntyre | Investigative Journalist and Broadcaster; Visiting Professor, School of Applied Criminology, Birmingham City University
“This is a seriously courageous – and much-needed – book. Aryanne shares her deep insights into the dynamics and impact of bullying. She offers a painfully accurate picture of the experience of being bullied, in a way that your head nods along in instinctive recognition of the truth of her words!
She gracefully empowers the bullied to take responsibility for resolving the situation without in any way ‘blaming the victim’. Demonstrating her deep understanding of the emotional dynamics of bullying, and even drawing on modern neuro-science principles, she then guides those who are bullied in a practical and step-by-step way to reclaim their personal power and sense of dignity, and change their situation, no matter how hopeless it may seem.
A must-read for HR practitioners, managers and supervisors, coaches and professionals in the field of workplace bullying, and anyone who has experience of bullying.”
Bennie Naude | International Energy Psychology Expert www.deepliving.com
“Easy-to-read and practical, this book gives effective, realistic help for those who are being bullied. The level of detail in the many well-crafted examples will help readers recognise their experience. The extensive toolkit provides a myriad of ideas for tackling bullying situations. This book reflects the author’s many years helping employees tackle workplace bullying and is a useful, smart and thoughtfully written resource.”
Professor Charlotte Rayner | Outgoing President: International Association of Workplace Bullying and Harassment; Visiting Professor of HR Management, Portsmouth Business School, Portsmouth University
“This is exactly the book you need if you are feeling intimidated by a bully at work, are involved in HR or L&D, or are managing staff. It covers a comprehensive range of subjects to help develop understanding and strategies for dealing with workplace bullying. Each chapter has a useful summary of key facts which act as a quick reference point, and practical questions to challenge thinking and encourage self-reflection. This will not only help the reader develop their own knowledge, but empower those experiencing workplace bullying to take action.”
Tracy Wray | Deputy HR Director, Sheffield University
“My experience as an HR Director in several large and complex organisations has left me in no doubt about the toxic effects of bullying on those who are targeted, and on the environment where bullying thrives. This very readable book is from an author with real insight into this difficult area. The book is full of practical tools to assist the reader to regain their power from the bully in a professional and dignified way, so that they can sustain their employment. I believe this is a must read for anyone who is being bullied, or who needs to recover from workplace bullying. Importantly, it can also help those who are supporting these people and their organisations.”
Jackie Green FCIPD | former HR Director for Leeds Teaching Hospitals NHS Trust and Royal Liverpool and Broadgreen University Hospitals; former Assistant CEO at The Housing Corporation
“Most of us didn’t expect to encounter bullying at work, thinking it’d be something we’d left behind with our school days. How wrong can we be! Unfortunately, bullying is not uncommon in the workplace. Aryanne’s insightful book is an invaluable aid and toolkit to understanding, addressing and overcoming bullying behaviour. Through a selection of carefully crafted real life examples, she introduces the reader to an effective skill set to protect against future bullying.”
Steve Moon | Independent Consultant and former Head of Energy, Global Project Finance, Bank of Ireland
“Looking at real-life situations, Aryanne Oade deciphers the dynamics of workplace bullying and provides the reader with clear and simple solutions. She adroitly and sensitively highlights the nuanced character of bullying, sharing with readers an empowering set of tools through which to address it.
Her sound insights and keen, practice-based comprehension result in a book which is suitable for people across a wide variety of workplaces and job profiles. The book’s focus is positive and progressive throughout, encouraging readers to learn new skills, internalise new ways of thinking about themselves and the bullying they are subject to, and answer thought-provoking self-awareness questions. ”
Dr Premilla D’Cruz | Professor of Organizational Behaviour at Indian Institute of Management Ahmedabad
“I wish I’d had this book to hand early in my career. I’d have loved to have been able to apply Aryanne’s qualitative tests for recognising bullying. This book will provide a treasure trove of useful information and help for anyone suffering from – or having suffered – bullying, or for those whose job involves managing bullying situations in their organisations.”
John Allison | former General Manager of a large publishing company